Driving Lessons - Crosswalks

 Current mood: talkative

I was going to make this an entry about an entire different topic, but then I did a bit of driving this afternoon. And really. 

It's no secret that I have the driving skills of Godzilla. I can't quite coordinate feet and hands and signs and morons at the same time. This is why I intend to stick to bikes until death. Plus, I'm both-handed and my sense of orientation is a bit distracted, to put it in a non-agressive-for-my-selfconfidence way.

Although, in defense of said selfconfidence, I must say that I was pretty good when I got my license, almost eight years ago now, but due to a compendium of factors, lack of actual vehicle included, I lost my touch. Now that I'm game again, I wonder if I'm really ready for the road.  

I think I am, but the question is, are all the others?

In other words, and after yesterday's events, I'm addressing an important and usually underrated subject when talking about the dangers of driving: CROSSWALKS.

I do believe that there should be curses subsidised by the town Hall or something about crosswalks and the uses of them. This could save us lots of troubles to both drivers and pedestrians. Because most of them seem blissfully unaware of the meaning of those little marks on the pavement. I would volunteer and put my teaching skills to use in order to touch the most necessary topics.

1. Clarifying the area. Some people seem to think that, if there happens to be a crosswalk within, say, 5 to 15 meters, they are well within the crosswalk area, so they can merrily cross without even looking at the road. When you have to suddenly brake and look at them with that thought in your mind, they look right back at you pointing to the distant marks on the road, as if saying 'hey, you moron, don't you see there's a crosswalk over there, in ten metres?'

Fact #1. The vicinity of a crosswalk is NOT a crosswalk. The crossing rights said croswalk grants you do NOT apply to the entire street in which the CW is located. This type of roads does exist, though; they are called pedestrian streets. Please go there for an outdoors chat. 

2. Pedestrian streets. Some people seem to think that CW are the miniature version of the formentioned pedestrian streets, in which you can merrily stop for a drag or to have a chat with your long-lost friend from childhood. If you, the one patiently waiting for them to realise there are better places for reacquanting, happen to move an inch or, god forbids it, use the horn, they will spat like nothing 'what's your problem?? This is a CW, a zone for pedestrians.'

Fact #2. Crosswalks were made for pedestrians to CROSS through, not to LIVE in.

3. The Indecisive Lot. An apparently innocent but dangerous lot is the Indecisive one. You see them from a mile, standing there, one foot already on the CW. You start to brake, the pedestrian looks at you with indecision al over his/her features and, deciding you don't go slowly enough, freaks out and retrieves the foot. You still brake some more, but the Indecisive doesn't trust you. So you think: ok, if you don't want to cross, don't, but I do want to go on. However, the Indecisive Pedestrian is an unpredictable creature, so when you're just gaining speed again, s/he will put one foot on the road again, and you'll have to brake once again. This operation will repeat itself several times before it's over, this is, the Indecisive Pedestrian will look at you with a worried look, and you'll invite him to go on with a gesture -trying not to do other type of gestures crossing your mind at that moment.That, or you'll just go on after his/her explicit gesture of 'no no, go on'.


There is an even more dangerous version of this scenario. When it's a two way road, then you'll have to wait until the Indecisive Pedestrian gathers enough courage and reassurance from the other driver too, before crossing. 

Fact #3. Indecision is a very BAD thing if you are to cross a road (it is a very bad thing, period, but let's focus). Cross or don't cross, but please don't be indecisive.  

4. Grandpas: those lovely creatures.  You see this old and respectable man standing just where the CW starts. Obviously you stop, only to be met by the grandpa's nice and warm smile while he tells you with gestures that you can go ahead, because he's not there for crossing; he's just there. You insist, just in case, but don't be fooled: he WON'T cross. What the hell happened to the banks in the park or the building watch? Maybe this is more interactive for them. 
Fact #4. The sooner you learn to distinguish between the old man who's there for crossing and the annoying old man who's there just to test drivers' patience, the better.

5. Last but not least, you have to be aware of what I call The Roulette of Crosswalks, this is, the possibility of a kid materialising out of nowhere in front of you, without looking anywhere before crossing. In this case, it will be a matter of luck and reflexes.  

If it's dark or you have this really bright sun in the late hours of the day blinding you, the risks increases by 900%. The only thing a driver can do is to pray to his/her favourite saint/god/celebrity for never being involved in a situation like that. 
Fact #5. Increase precautions to the extreme if visibility conditions are not good, or if they are. AND light up a candle for Saint Christopher. 


Anyway, let's face it; pedestrians are not the only ones unaware of the real meaning of 'crosswalks'. Drivers are worth of another few entries themselves, the damned animals. Most of them believe that a CW consist in driving zig zag saving obstacles. Why stopping while an old lady is slowly crossing when I can pass her by 847985467 times before she reaches the other side? So they accelerate, and when nearing the old lady, they zig zag and BAM! they're gone. Who cares if the old lady is left there trembling and with her hand suspiciously grabbing her chest. This lot should have their licenses revoked FOR LIFE. That's street terrorism. 

Rule #6. Not very fast people, whatever their reason, kind of have the same right to cross the road without having to risk their hearts coming out of their mouths in the process.

Best of lucks if you are reading this and currently taking driving lessons. I hope you are a better driver than 90% of the people out there -and I'm being generous with figures.

And if you are already a driver, CHILL OUT, for god's sake.

x